Five by Five—New book provides a wider view of marriage

By Max Bowen

Part crash course in feminism, part social guide, part memoir and part manifesto, “A Feminist Guide to Marriage” (Goldsmiths, Nov. 10, 2026) by Suzanne Leonard is for couples who want to know marriage better and do marriage better. Answering frequent questions about how to approach sex, money, children, non/monogamy, and more, this book will help incorporate feminist ideals into romantic life.

Written by a scholar of popular culture who has been teaching for 25 years and married to a man for 15 years, the book shares stories from real people about everything from dating to divorce, with chapters on sex, money, children, and monogamy, among others.

Visit www.suzanneleonard.com for more.

How did this book begin?
Ever since I was 8, when I watched Princess Diana’s wedding on television, I’ve wanted to get married. Even after I grew up, I couldn’t shake the feeling that my life wouldn’t be complete until that happened. As I became an expert in gender studies, I thought a lot about whether that aspiration conflicted with my feminism or my politics. I wanted to write a book to show myself and others that this wasn’t necessarily the case.

I call the book part crash course in feminism, part social guide, part memoir and part manifesto. It’s meant to help readers learn about feminism, without it seeming like this scary, off-putting ideology. I wanted to clear up the misperception that feminism destroyed marriage and that feminists hate marriage.

What is the feminist viewpoint on marriage as it is now?
For centuries, married women didn’t have rights over their money, their property or even their bodies. As a result, a lot of feminists thought marriage was an oppressive institution; some even wanted it abolished. But a lot has changed in the last few decades, and feminism has changed, too. For one thing, gay marriage has been legalized. Married people can still have intellectual, financial, and sexual freedom, while at the same time building an intimate life with a partner.

Although people don’t generally think of it this way, marriage is the most political thing most of us will ever do in our lives. It determines how we move through the world—meaning how we see ourselves and how others see us. It can dictate our names (although usually it’s the woman who changes hers), where we get our health insurance and how much money we have. No picture of marriage is complete without this wider context.

What is the feminist approach to raising kids?
The biggest misconception that surrounds this topic is that feminists believe childcare and domestic labor must be shared equally. Frankly, that’s impossible. What we do believe is something that I call the $200 dyad, which comes from the advice that my husband and I got from a therapist when I was pregnant with our daughter. (The session cost $200 and we never saw the therapist again because he was so helpful.)

The therapist advocated that each parent must have an individual relationship with their child, one free from interference from the other parent. They must be trusted to keep the child alive, essentially, no matter how many lists the other parent wants to write. My husband and I both have individual dyads with our daughter, and neither of these is more meaningful than the other. Both dyads are key to keeping her – and us – healthy and happy.

What would you say are some of the more important lessons to be found in the book?
Here’s a list of some of the things I haven’t mentioned yet, but I think are key:

• Human relationships are the best things in life. 
• We can’t make a better world without thinking about how we conduct those relationships. 
• While not everyone should—or wants to—get married, it’s an institution that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. 
• Feminist insights can change the way we live. They have certainly changed my life, which I illustrate throughout the book.  
• Learning more about what feminism has to say about marriage not only enriches our lives, but also those of our friends, families, and communities. 

How is non/monogamy addressed in this book?
I dedicate a chapter to this topic, which is titled, “Feminist’s Knew About Consensual Non-Monogamy Long Before You Did.” The reason I say this is because there was a group of women in the 19th century who advocated for what they called “free love,” meaning that men should not feel ownership over their wives’ bodies. Some feminists even advocated for a version of what we would today call consensual non-monogamy, which is essentially the presumption that partners agree to have sexual and/or emotional attachments outside their primary relationship.

I’m often asked if a feminist approach to marriage includes non-monogamy. The short answer to this question is “not necessarily, but maybe.” There is also good evidence that non-monogamous couples have broader social networks, less jealousy, and more transparency in their relationships. That said, non-monogamy is definitely not for everyone.

Five by Five—Sarah May begins a new life in “She Journeys”

By Max Bowen

In “She Journeys,” (Sept. 9) author Sarah May embarks on a profound journey to reconcile the wounds of her young marriage: infidelity, abuse, and assault. Personal transformation meets adventure, spirituality, and love in this inspirational testament to rebuilding after ruin. Eventually selling everything to live in a van, Sarah is now one half of the Authors on Wheels duo.

In this Five by Five interview, Sarah talks about the choice to publish this decision, the relationship she left behind, and the journey that followed.

What led you to share your story in this way?
I’ve kept a daily journal since I was a teenager, so writing has long been my way of processing, reflecting and making meaning. The desire to write a whole book was approached as an act of self-love to heal more deeply. But writing required me to ask the hardest questions I’ve ever asked myself, to get vulnerable, messy and brave as I came face to face with my own shadows. The process was radically transformative, rage inducing and ultimately, revolutionary.

How were you able to get out of this relationship?
Leaving was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. I was only 23, but I thought my life was over. I stayed too long in a marriage that was poison. The longer I stayed, the more I harmed myself. I have so much compassion for that girl who thought that was love. I tolerated betrayal, lies and abuse all culminating in a night that could have ended with one or both of us dead. After that, even though I was devastated, I realized leaving was my only option. I saved my own life when I left that one behind.

What’s your advice for others in your situation?
What I would tell my younger self: I’m so sorry for your pain and heartbreak. To love so much is a sign of your big heart. But darling, love shouldn’t hurt like this, shouldn’t render you hollow from the inside out. Leaving is not betrayal, it’s the first step of honoring yourself. This pain won’t last forever, a life can be rebuilt, often more wonderful than you can imagine. To see the situation with clear eyes you have to stop lying to yourself. If you had a daughter and she was in your position, what would you want for her?

What was your healing journey, and how are you today?
My journey has been long, winding, challenging, and glorious. I buried the trauma and pain for years only to realize it was critical to revisit. There was spirituality, therapy, breath-work, ancestral unpacking, a plant medicine ceremony, a divorce ritual, and finally writing the book. I fell in love again with a man of incredible integrity. Together, we bought a van, sold our belongings, and hit the road. Life has turned out so much more achingly beautiful than that girl who had her heart shattered could have imagined. Every step, every act of reclamation, it was all so, so worth it.

Looking back, do you have a different perspective on what you went through?
Of course, healing does that. It gave me so much more compassion and understanding of why things fell apart the way they did, of my own faults, of my ex’s wounds that drove his behavior. In so many ways we were just children playing adults, thinking we could “fix” one another, be “enough” for one another when we weren’t even enough for ourselves. While what unfolded was traumatic and painful and devastating, ultimately I’ve chosen to make the experience one of my greatest teachers. It made the life that I am living now, a life I absolutely love, all possible.

Five by Five: Charting your own path to happiness

By Max Bowen 

Deb Miller’s book, “Forget the Fairy Tale and Find Your Happiness” seeks to challenge the age-old notion that marriage is the surest path to the good life, and hopes that readers will strike out on their own journey.

In this interview, Deb talks about her own life experiences that helped make the book, the theme of fulfillment, and finding real happiness.

How did the theme of fulfillment coming from a marriage come to be part of your book?
That message was everywhere when I was growing up—from my mom, from society and from every pop culture role model I saw. “Leave it to Beaver.” “The Brady Bunch.” Rodgers & Hammerstein’s epic “Cinderella.” I thought all men wanted to be providers like Charles Ingalls or Ward Cleaver. Marriage, I was taught, was the ultimate destination. My memoir exposes how misleading that narrative is—and what it takes to rewrite it.

What parts of your life were included in this book?
Experiences that mattered to the theme made it in. From early childhood memories and first love to career highs, heartbreaks and finding peace in 2020. If it shaped my understanding of love, purpose, or happiness, it’s in the book—sometimes raw, sometimes funny, always real.

What is the ‘traditional princess narrative’ and how does your book address it?
It’s the belief that happiness comes when Prince Charming shows up. That if you're pretty and patient, a man will “rescue” you with marriage, and your life will be complete – you’ll reach the happily ever after. My book challenges that myth head-on. I spent years trying to live that fairy tale. Then, I realized the heroine I was waiting for was me.

How did you find your own real-life happiness?
Did you know that 50% of your happiness is genetically determined, only 10% is affected by life circumstances and situation and the remaining 40% of happiness is within your self-control?* Despite the title of my book, happiness, isn’t found—it’s chosen.

I stopped chasing what society told me I should want and started doing what brings me joy. At first, it was guiding my kids. I’m happy to report that they are all set now, so I can sip tea and work on my book in the morning instead of taking a long commute and working 12-hour days. I love being outdoors with my dog, hiking and landscaping, and hanging out with people I enjoy—especially my grandkids. We have the most interesting conversations.

What do you hope readers take from this book?
The title says it all: “Forget the Fairy Tale and Find Your Happiness.” I want readers to feel empowered to chart their own path—not the one prescribed by others. When you stop chasing someone else’s version of happiness and start following your own, that’s when the real happy ending begins.

I hope readers realize they don’t need a glass slipper, a castle, or anyone’s approval to build a beautiful life. Ditch the script. Write your own ending. The journey isn’t about finding a prince—it’s about finding ourselves.

*According to research by Harvard graduate and Stanford university PhD, Sonja Lyubomirsky.

Talking travel, robots, and Moscow marriages at the Rhode Island Author Expo

This December saw the return of the Rhode Island Author Expo, run by the Association of Rhode Island Authors. Along with emceeing the event, Citywide Blackout co-host Max Bowen sat down with some of the many talented writers to talk about their new releases, story inspirations, character development, and what we can expect down the road.

McLaughlin shares details of upcoming books
Heidi McLaughlin, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling author, joins me to talk about her two upcoming novels, “Sail Away With Me” (Dec. 31) and “The Art of Starting Over” (Feb. 1). Both are romance stories, and we go into the details of the potential couples, her character development process and how these fit into her over 60 previous works.

Getting married in 1979 Moscow
Joann and Jim Mead have an interesting story about how they met—in Moscow 1979. In their new book, “Married in Moscow: A Red-hot Memoir during Cold War Times,” the couple talk about what brought them to Moscow in the first place and their memorable moments there. Joann and Jim share their first impressions of each other and how they went from two strangers to a marriage that lasted the years.

From travel blogging to crime thriller
To say that C.B. Giesinger has had a wide-ranging writing career would be putting it mildly. From her travel blogging, where she shows readers some of the best places to check out across the globe, she’s also tried her hand at all sorts of genres of books. Most recently, she released “Where the Salt Water Ends” a thriller in which the mother of a missing child begins an investigation when other kids are taken, and the truth is not something she wants to learn.

C.B. and I talk about her different types of writing, portraying strong female characters, and future works.

YA author is back with second “Courage Kids” book
In 2023, I got to meet debut author Nishita Roy-Pope to talk about her first book. “Courage Kids: The Secret Soccer Ball.” Now, Nishita has continued the series with “Courage Kids-Robots, Sharks and the Missing Glow” and with a name like this, you just know it’s going to be a great story. Nishita talks about what inspired this book and how it continues the first one. We also go into this new role for Nishita and how she plans to grow it in the future.

Kelly Swan Taylor shares the newest story in teen mystery series
Kelly Swan Taylor is now in the fourth volume of her Wright Detective series, this time set amidst a new love for her protagonist, Tessa Wright. We explore the different ways that the series has progressed and how Tessa has changed since the first book. Kelly also shares the role that Tessa’s love interest Mason plays in the new book as well as the potential for new titles.

New book showcases the beauty of San Miguel and the growth of the main character

Ann Marie Jackson

By Max Bowen

In Ann Marie Jackson’s book, “The Broken Hummingbird,” (She Writes Press), we follow the main character Jane as she embarks on the journey of a lifetime. In the midst of a marital crisis, Jane hatches an unusual plan to avoid a custody battle. She convinces husband Kevin to walk away from the pressures of New York—in particular, her demanding job and an affair she almost had—in the hope that moving to their favorite city abroad will fix their family.

In this interview, we dive into Jane’s journey to a new country and how she grows from the experience of being amidst a new culture. We talk about the two girls she helps and how this impacts her life.


Let’s begin with Jane’s journey in a new country. How does she handle this change in her life?
Because their marriage is on the rocks, Jane and her husband, Kevin, move to their favorite city abroad, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, in the misguided hope that doing so will fix their family. But wherever you go, there you are. They bring their problems with them, and Kevin grows more resentful. She drags him to marriage counseling, but it doesn’t work, and there seems to be more going on with him. Jane has always been a successful, driven person, but now she fears that she’s failing at everything: she has stepped away from her career, her marriage is still failing, and because of that, worst of all, she fears she is failing her children.


Who are the two girls that Jane helps, and how does it impact her own life?
In San Miguel de Allende, out of a desire for distraction from her own problems, as well as a sincere urge to help and to assuage some expat white privilege guilt, Jane starts working with an NGO that helps families living in poverty. That’s how she meets the two little girls. She gets overly wrapped up in their family’s life and comes to suspect that her bumbling efforts are doing more harm than good. I believe that we should be out there in the world helping, trying to make a difference, but sometimes, like Jane, we may need to learn to help better.


How does Jane grow from this experience?
Being an expat is having a foot in two worlds. It is a stimulating way to live, but it does mean finding yourself off-balance on a regular basis, wondering what is it about this situation that I may not be interpreting correctly?

In “The Broken Hummingbird,” the characters’ openness to learning the ways of a second culture reflects their aptitude for growth. Jane and her kids avidly explore San Miguel and are enchanted by their new home. Kevin, focused on the past and what could have been, seems uninterested in embracing the family’s new world. This difference heightens the narrative conflict between the spouses. Becoming more bilingual, learning about Mexican culture, and forming cross-cultural friendships opens Jane up to making different choices for her future.

Does this reflect any experiences in your own life?
My own immigrant experience provides a deep well of inspiration. I am an American lucky to have lived in Hirakata, Japan; Shanghai, China; Suva, Fiji; Oxford, England; and now in gorgeous San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Each move entailed a challenging but rewarding effort to absorb a new set of unwritten societal rules. I believe that a great way to grow is to immerse myself in the unknown and have things I took for granted about how the world works suddenly come into question.

I would also like to point out that despite the difficult themes, much of the book is joyful. Jane, her children, and her new friends have a lot of fun along the way. Part of the enjoyment for me in writing this story was indulging in a chance to glory in the vibrant beauty of San Miguel, the city’s incredibly rich culture, and the pleasures of everyday life here.


What research did you do into San Miguel de Allende, Mexico?
I have been lucky to live full-time in San Miguel de Allende for the last 11 years, and I am raising my two sons here. They were 4 and 6 when we arrived, and now they’re in high school.

I am intensely involved in the San Miguel de Allende community, where I work with nonprofit organizations that improve the lives of women and children, and with advocates who protest violence against women and bring critical attention to las desaparecidas, the murdered and missing women of Mexico.

With friends, I started my own nonprofit called Mano Amiga. Our mission is to empower women, financially and personally, through microlending. We provide financial training, mentoring, and interest-free loans, giving women the means to build successful small businesses. I also served as vice president of Casita Linda, and I remain on the organization’s advisory board. We build approximately 10 houses per year, at a cost of $17,000 per house, for families living in extreme poverty.

Despite this wealth of personal experience, I still needed to research certain traditions and historical information to ensure that I accurately portrayed the details. Throughout my travels, I have become a student of the little differences that truly matter. I hope the resulting attention to detail comes through in my writing.

Some core relationship components

Authors David and Julie Bulitt joined me on Valentine's Day to talk about their new book “The 5 Core Conversations For Couples.” We take a look at things like communication, a work/life balance, and a healthy sex life and how each plays a role in creating a strong relationship.

The Bulitts also discuss their professional careers in family therapy and divorce and family law and how it informed the writing process.

Thanks go out to Ellen Whitfield of JKS Communications/Books Forward PR for her help in arranging this interview.