Five by Five—The story of a nontraditional traditional relationship

By Max Bowen 

Over 40 years, Marsh Rose and Jack shared a relationship living in separate homes but with a bond that ran deep. When Jack passed from a stroke, Marsh was encouraged to turn a column she was working into a memoir, “A Version of the Truth,” set to be released in October.

Set in the famed Northern California wine country, the book explores themes of feminism, sexuality, identity, love and loss, inviting readers to think about the search for truth and the ways in which we must confront its mystery to find a version we can live with.

In this interview, Marsh talks about how she and Jack met and the nature of their relationship. She talks about the grieving process after Jack passed and how she turned that story into this new memoir.

Let’s begin with how you and Jack met and how the relationship began.
We bonded over DIY projects. Jack was a neighbor when I lived in a decrepit rental in northern California. The landlord was upset about rent control (he deemed it “socialism”), he wouldn’t make repairs and the place was falling apart. Jack was a construction worker and helped keep the place from collapsing around me. We developed a routine of two nights a week together and daily phone calls. Neither of us wanted to get married or live together.

Can you talk more about the unique nature of your relationship?
We had little in common, superficially: no shared upbringing, lifestyle, interests or friends. But we both craved intimacy while also protecting our privacy and independence. This foundation helped me to allow our differences to inform my own life and perspectives over the years.

What was your grieving process, after so many years together?
I relied on two special friends, my journal which always helps anchor me to sanity, and the need to stay grounded so that I could keep working, remain healthy and possibly write about it.

What inspired you to share yours and Jack’s story?
I was working with my mentor, Marion Roach Smith, to develop an essay I hoped to submit to the New York Times’ “Modern Love” column, about helping a partner with health problems in a nontraditional relationship. When I was a few weeks away from finishing the essay, Jack had a stroke and…the ending happened, to my ultimate surprise. Marion and I decided to turn the essay into a full-length memoir. I see it less as a story about the relationship, which is just the vehicle, and more as the discovery that we don’t always get the answers we need.

Any messages that you hope the readers take from it?
These days, especially as AI becomes more and more prevalent in our lives, we’re led to believe we can have all the answers to all our mysteries. We can’t, but we can find a way to live with unanswerable questions. I hope the readers get that message. To abuse the wise words of Mick Jagger, we can’t always get what we want but maybe, in this story, some readers may get something they need.

Five by Five—Sarah May begins a new life in “She Journeys”

By Max Bowen

In “She Journeys,” (Sept. 9) author Sarah May embarks on a profound journey to reconcile the wounds of her young marriage: infidelity, abuse, and assault. Personal transformation meets adventure, spirituality, and love in this inspirational testament to rebuilding after ruin. Eventually selling everything to live in a van, Sarah is now one half of the Authors on Wheels duo.

In this Five by Five interview, Sarah talks about the choice to publish this decision, the relationship she left behind, and the journey that followed.

What led you to share your story in this way?
I’ve kept a daily journal since I was a teenager, so writing has long been my way of processing, reflecting and making meaning. The desire to write a whole book was approached as an act of self-love to heal more deeply. But writing required me to ask the hardest questions I’ve ever asked myself, to get vulnerable, messy and brave as I came face to face with my own shadows. The process was radically transformative, rage inducing and ultimately, revolutionary.

How were you able to get out of this relationship?
Leaving was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. I was only 23, but I thought my life was over. I stayed too long in a marriage that was poison. The longer I stayed, the more I harmed myself. I have so much compassion for that girl who thought that was love. I tolerated betrayal, lies and abuse all culminating in a night that could have ended with one or both of us dead. After that, even though I was devastated, I realized leaving was my only option. I saved my own life when I left that one behind.

What’s your advice for others in your situation?
What I would tell my younger self: I’m so sorry for your pain and heartbreak. To love so much is a sign of your big heart. But darling, love shouldn’t hurt like this, shouldn’t render you hollow from the inside out. Leaving is not betrayal, it’s the first step of honoring yourself. This pain won’t last forever, a life can be rebuilt, often more wonderful than you can imagine. To see the situation with clear eyes you have to stop lying to yourself. If you had a daughter and she was in your position, what would you want for her?

What was your healing journey, and how are you today?
My journey has been long, winding, challenging, and glorious. I buried the trauma and pain for years only to realize it was critical to revisit. There was spirituality, therapy, breath-work, ancestral unpacking, a plant medicine ceremony, a divorce ritual, and finally writing the book. I fell in love again with a man of incredible integrity. Together, we bought a van, sold our belongings, and hit the road. Life has turned out so much more achingly beautiful than that girl who had her heart shattered could have imagined. Every step, every act of reclamation, it was all so, so worth it.

Looking back, do you have a different perspective on what you went through?
Of course, healing does that. It gave me so much more compassion and understanding of why things fell apart the way they did, of my own faults, of my ex’s wounds that drove his behavior. In so many ways we were just children playing adults, thinking we could “fix” one another, be “enough” for one another when we weren’t even enough for ourselves. While what unfolded was traumatic and painful and devastating, ultimately I’ve chosen to make the experience one of my greatest teachers. It made the life that I am living now, a life I absolutely love, all possible.

‘Violet is Blue’ continues the journey into the town of Poulson

By Max Bowen

Our latest Five by Five continues the The Women of Paradise County Series with “Violet is Blue,” (June 2025, Speaking Volumes) by Anne Shaw Heinrich.

Small town life isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be for the women of Paradise County. Heinrich, shares how the small town can make a huge impact in her dark yet hopeful companion to her first book, which dives into the world of “have” and “have-nots” where Violet befriends Jules, a boy from the other side of town and learns about the indignities and injustices given to the less fortunate side of the tracks.

In this interview, Anne explores how the new book continues the story of “God Bless the Child” and talks about the relationship between Violet and Jules. We learn some of the lessons shared through the book and get a few details on the next title in the series.


How does this expand on “God Bless the Child?”
My second novel, “Violet is Blue,” unfolds in the same town as “God Bless the Child,” the first novel in The Women of Paradise County Series. Poulson is a fictional midwestern small town where everyone knows your business and you have an assigned seat. A few of the characters from the first novel are also featured in the second book, namely the Rev. James Pullman. He has messes from his younger, less reverent days, in need of tending. His younger cousin, Violet Sellers and her newfound friend, Jules Marks, know all about his deeds. As the truth unravels, there are tremendous changes in store for them both, as well as the whole new cast of characters who called Poulson their home.

What is the relationship between Violet and Jules?
Classmates Violet and Jules have little in common. Violet has never done without, and Jules lives with his five little sisters in Shakey’s Half, a dusty cluster of shacks on the outskirts of town. It’s a place most people in Poulson try not to think about too much. Vi and Jules have more history than they realize, but as their unlikely friendship grows, they discover a shared penchant for harming themselves. Violet one-ups tough Jules with a sinister tattoo designed to protect her from her cousin, James Pullman. Jules takes one look and knows the artist. What he does next leads to an unraveling that changes the lives of everyone within their sphere.

How does the fact they’re from different sides of town influence their relationship?
In the beginning, their differences are stark. Violet is protected by her privilege. She wants for nothing. Jules wants for everything and then some. Both want to be seen, comforted and safe. Their trust grows and they come to need one another in ways neither of them imagine. As their friendship deepens, what divides them is still there, but not as noticeable or powerful as what connects them.

What are some of the lessons shared through the story?
“Violet is Blue” delves deeply into what happens when people living together in small spaces must reckon with how they are different, yet connected, whether they like it or not. Some have everything. Some have nothing. But most live in that space between everything and nothing. The story also allows readers to explore the capricious nature of circumstance, a universal desire to be loved and protected, and the lasting impacts of action and inaction. The characters in the book are forced to reckon with their own notions of generosity and grace. What motivates us to give, and where does that fine line between enough and too much land? How closely do our wants dance next to our needs?

Will there be more stories that continue this?
Yes. There is one more novel in The Women of Paradise County Series, “House of Teeth.” I’m knee-deep in the writing of it and really enjoying the process of “putting a bow” on the story arch. There is some unfinished business for nearly all of the characters in the series that must be tended to in a way that will satisfy readers, but also lean into the reality that we face, even outside the fictional world: the decisions we make or let others make for us, have lasting consequences that are difficult to quantify, but nonetheless powerful.

Joseph Falank combines personal drama with a spooky atmosphere in his newest book

Three couples. A weekend at a secluded lake house. What could go wrong?

Quite a lot, as it turns out. Joseph Falank’s new book, “The Vanishing at Echo Lake” (Oct. 22), combines the each couple’s relationships issues with a mysterious cabin where the living have a tendency to go missing without a trace.

Joseph talks about what inspired the book, not his first in the horror genre, and how he created both the world of the cabin and the people, in a way that makes them matter to the reader. He goes into the force surrounding the cabin and how we learn of its effect on the people there. The book’s set amidst the COVID pandemic and we look at why this was done and how it impacts the story.

Joseph even gives us a sneak peek at his next project, a fantasy story that his daughter helped inspire.

 

Penny Lane’s book takes readers on a journey of personal redemption

Penny Lane

CONTENT WARNING: This interview contains recounts of  trauma and abusive relationships.

Penny Lane’s debut memoir “Redeemed: A Memoir of a Stolen Childhood,” (She Writes Press) is a story of personal redemption. Torn from her home by a Hungarian father she doesn't know to enduring abuse and neglect from a stepmother, Penny's journey leads her to another form of captivity: fundamentalist Christianity. It's a tale of resilience against abuse, trauma, and oppressive odds, navigating both family and religious turmoil to ultimately find her way home.

In this episode, Penny shares what led her to share her story with the world, and her process of recounting her abusive relationships. She hold nothing back as she talks about what she endured and how she made it through to a live of love and happiness.

Penny shares her experience with a Fundamentalist Christian world and how it impacted her years later. She talks about the message behind the book and her hopes for what readers will take from it.

This interview was arranged with the help of Books Forward.

Jenny Stenger’s new single looks at new love and red flags

By Max Bowen

Being in love is great, isn’t it? Until things go south, that is. That’s something we’ve all gone through—a relationship starts off great and then takes a turn south and we ask ourselves, “Did I miss something?”

That’s part of the story behind Jenny Stenger’s new single, “Rose Colored Glasses,” released on Sept. 29. In this interview, Jenny shares the song’s origin, how her own love story played a part, and the message she hopes to impart.

You can find the song on numerous platform here: https://lnk.to/rosecoloredlenses


Where did the idea for “Rose Colored Lenses” come from?
I’ve always been afraid of falling in love with someone and becoming blind to red flags. I’ve spent most of my life being single, so I’ve thought a lot about what I wanted/didn’t want in a relationship, and I’ve always hoped I would stay self-aware once I got into a relationship. When I started falling in love for the first time, I was hyper-aware of everything that could go wrong. I got really scared that it was too good to be true, and there must be something I’m missing- I must be wearing rose-colored lenses.

New love is a theme of this song. Did your own experiences factor into the lyrics?
I basically use songwriting as my diary. I wrote this song in the beginning stages of my first relationship, and I was experiencing so many different feelings and needed something to do with them. One of my favorite things about songwriting is how something so personal starts to feel universal once it’s out in the world.

I read that the genre is “sad girl pop.” How would you define this?
I feel like just calling it “pop” is too broad- it’s a lot slower and sadder than typical pop music. I also feel like it fits in well with the female artists I listen to, who write a lot of sad lyrics and attract a predominantly female fanbase. Obviously, I would love for my music to reach all audiences, but I feel like that gives listeners a good idea of what they’re getting into.

I really liked the sound of the song. How did you develop this?
It started out as just a voice memo of me singing and playing piano, and my friends Brady Sossaman and Seth Wentland helped flesh it out and fill out the instrumentation. Brady wrote and recorded all the guitar parts, and Seth did the production. The strings in the bridge and the slide guitar are my favorite parts of the song, and I’m so lucky to have a team of talented friends who know exactly how to bring my vision to life.

Are these any lines which really encompass the message? 

I think the line “I don’t want to fall in love alone” encompasses the song really well. A lot of the lyrics express the idea of not feeling like you’re good enough for anyone to fall for, and that something must be wrong. I think a lot of people are afraid to admit how scary new relationships can be because they don’t want to take away from the excitement and joy, and I hope this song gets the message across that it’s okay to be both anxious and excited at the same time.

Memoir shows how to find the true warrior within

Courtney Ramm joins me to talk about her memoir, “Eris Rising,” available Oct. 27 through Acorn Publishing, which details a professional dancer, choreographer, and yoga teacher crossing paths with an enticing, yet manipulative man named Marcus, and the relationship marked by emotional and even physical abuse that followed. Courtney has been out of this relationship for some time and talks about how it's possible to move forward from such a time and grow into a true warrior.